Well, at least that means he has a good chance of not dropping the soap, when he is eventually jailed for his idiotic behavior. The story is this, Erin Muller, Michael Lohan's ex-girlfriend, has a restraining order on him, --and one of the rules set down in the RO is that no phone calls are allowed. It's actually kind of funny that Lohan doesn't get the rules by now, since he was arrested for the exact... 

Boy, you just can't find good help today. John Edwards, formerly North Carolina's senator, is dealing with sex tape rumors, though not as much as his ex-mistress is. A former assistant to John Edwards somehow came into possession of a video showing Rielle Hunter, and John Edwards doing "very personal and private" things. I am going to go ahead and assume they weren't balancing their personal bank accounts,... 

...It's hilarious. Generally, I don't really go for late night, or any of the commentary shows, because they're just sooo silly, but if I had to watch anyone it'd probably be Jimmy Kimmel, second choice, Conan O'Brien. Kimmel tells the whole story, via clips, of clips, of interviews, and also the actual events that led up to the big appearance of Kimmel on Jay Leno's show. Jimmy also doesn't fail to... 

No, I don't mean a heartwarming, Saturday night sitcom special, followed by an important public service message about listening to your kids. I mean a balls to the wall, angry teenager meltdown. And aside from it sounding completely fake, and staged, it also seemed to rule in favor of the pissy, hormonal teenage daughter. And what else could we be talking about when we put together words like housewives,... 

A little bit of both, really. Tila Tequila has gone through some major ups and downs in a matter of sheers days, practically hours. First, she began prostituting an alleged ultrasound of her latest pregnancy, --if in fact, she is pregnant. Tila Tequila started her own pregnancy rumors not too long ago, before she denied the, --Twitter is amazing. Then, she claimed the guy who knocked her up was Swedish.... 

Tyrese Gibson, mm, now that's one gorgeous slice of man. Sadly, the gorgeous slice of chocolate cake that is Tyrese Gibson, was in a car accident, and earned himself a felony citing for leaving the scene of an accident, --in which one car was absolutely totaled. Tyrese and a woman named Sheena McReary were in an accident on Jan. 4th; both were shaken up, but not seriously injured, and they gave their... 

It was six years ago, guy, get over it! Jay Leno finally made his appointment to sit and talk to Oprah about how sad and sorry his life, --by the way, his life worth $800 million, --is. Yes, Leno, how miserable and sad things must be for you. Leno told Oprah on her show that when NBC told him six years ago that they were giving the Tonight Show to Conan O'Brien, it broke his heart. He claims he "told... 

The author of Catcher in the Rye was probably one of the strangest people to ever live; he was basically a hermit, for most of his life. He also wrote two other novels, and one collection of his own short stories and novellas; Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction, Franny and Zooey, and Nine Stories. Holden Caulfield remains one of the most inspirational and memorable fictional... 

When I say he sues "everyone", I mean -everyone-. This guy is suing Playboy, the parking garage, the individuals who were kicking his ass, --and more people still! Basically, the story is this: Ryan Murphy snagged an invitation at the Superbowl '08 party at the Playboy mansion. Like any other functioning male, he decides to go. TMZ quotes the party as an event where guests are "permitted to consume... 

Hey, let's just not embellish with a bunch of big, nasty adjectives like "vicious" and "brutal". Many headlines are using a lot of goofy words, --I like to get it out there with a little more honesty. And some of that honesty requires, nay, obligates me to point out, --that if the old guy had been attacked by DMX's dogs, he'd have been eaten, period. As with any animal attack, we have to call into... 

Woohoo! All in favor of seeing Nancy Grace gets a good dose of her own medicine, raise your hands! Now lower them, because I can't really see your support. But I can sense it, so that's cool. Anyway, for those of you following the condemnation of Nancy Grace, via the recent lawsuit against her for causing the suicide of Melinda Duckett, perhaps you'll remember her emergency injunction for a ban on... 

First, Brad Pitt is splitting with Angelina Jolie; the rumors are everywhere, and this time, things sound pretty serious. Then we get wind that Angie and Brad have seen a lawyer, about how best to divvy up their collection of cash and kids. Now, new elements to the Brangelina mystery are surfacing. According to The Straits Times, Brad Pitt has recently purchased a "bachelor pad" (how is it, in 30 years,... 

Well, he isn't poor by a long shot just yet, but he did recently lose substantial amounts after being sucked into a con artist's dirty scheme to ... rule the world! Or at least, leech some money out of Kiefer Sutherland via a bad er.. cow investment. But I still secretly suspect the guy plans to rule the world; or planned. And what better innocuous way to do it than by using cows? Placid, gentle beef... 

She's either not ready to give up her meal-ticket yet, or she's waiting out of sheer morbid curiosity to see whether he'll end up with Rachel Uchitel again, --who still claims they're in love. Rachel Uchitel recently canceled her birthday party planned at a club in Palm Beach when a flyer for the party ended up on the Internet. Uchitel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, stated that the party was canceled because...